


In All the Classics

by katspaw



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katspaw/pseuds/katspaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your life isn't a movie. Movies don't play out like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In All the Classics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [May](https://archiveofourown.org/users/May/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Great Pity Scene](https://archiveofourown.org/works/544145) by [May](https://archiveofourown.org/users/May/pseuds/May). 



**Act I**

Interior. Early evening. A young troll walks barefoot through a quiet hive. This is our protagonist, KARKAT VANTAS. He can’t be more than two sweeps old. His shirt is just a little too large for him, indicating to the viewer that he is low-caste and can’t afford well-fitting clothes. His back is to us and his caste symbol is not visible, but if it were all we would be able to identify is that he presents as anhemonymous. In one hand he drags a battered doll. It looks like a third or fourth generation hand-me-down, probably something he found on the side of the road. One of its horns is missing and the face has been mostly worn away aside from the most basic features of the eyes and mouth.  
On the left we see a set of stairs. Karkat enters a room to the right, leaving the door open behind him. The camera follows behind him. We realize it is time for his evening schoolfeeding as his viewport switches on.

TELEVISION  
[A familiar sound byte]  
Long live our glorious empress, Her Imperious Condescension!  
[A cartoon introduction sequence. Karkat sits down to watch.]  
[A female voice] Tonight’s schoolfeeding is on the quadrants. We will learn about the purpose and practices of the pale quadrant.

The audio fades out into a calm instrumental track. The camera angle switches to a ¾ view of Karkat’s face. We can see the faint glow of the viewport as he watches the program intently. We see him look down at the doll still in his hand. The camera moves behind him again. Karkat stands up and leaves the frame, returning after a moment with a basket of laundry, which he empties out on the floor. He spends a few moments arranging the clothes into a small pile, then takes the doll from the floor and climbs onto the clothes.

¾ view. Karkat pets the head of the doll uncertainly. We can hear the program continuing in the background, the sound muffled and indistinct. He stares off into the distance, his hand still resting on the doll. His expression is one of a child struggling to understand a difficult or complex topic. The camera pulls in slowly for a close up as the audio of the program fades out.

Fade to black as the title and opening credits roll.

 

**Act II**

Fade into a red sky. Dramatic, fast-paced music as a montage of events plays. The storyline is familiar to the viewer, and they will recognize the cast as the story is recapped. The montage ends with a quick look at all our living cast: TEREZI PYROPE and VRISKA SERKET facing off on the rooftop, KANAYA MARYAM, now a rainbow drinker, sawing ERIDAN AMPORA in half, SOLLUX CAPTOR thrown against the wall. The final scene of our montage is a slow pan across a dark lab room. We see the bodies of NEPETA LEIJON and EQUIUS ZAHHAK. Silence. On the wall someone has drawn a smiley face with a round clown nose in olive blood.

Fade into a scene of Karkat in the main computer lab. He’s typing away at one of the computers. We can see a chat window open on the monitor. Beside him, we see Sollux propped against the wall, unconscious. His eyes are dark and unsettling. There is no sound aside from Karkat’s typing and what he is saying to himself.

KARKAT  
[Muttering] Shit shit shit. Oh god.

Karkat continues typing as the camera pans out across the lab. There is a ping to indicate Karkat had received a message. Several follow in quick succession.  
Cut to the computer screen. We see that Karkat is talking to terminallyCapricious. The viewer can read the latest messages.

TC: I AM GOING TO MOTHERFUCKING KILL ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.  
TC: and paint the wicked pictures with your motherfuckin blood.  
TC: FROM YOUR VEINS WILL DRIP MY MIRACLES.  
TC: your crushed bones will make my special stardust.  
TC: WELCOME TO THE DARK CARNIVAL, BROTHER.

Cut to Karkat’s face. He looks as though he is about to vomit as he scans the text. From nearby comes the sound of a horn honking. Karkat jumps and whips around. We see him look with undisguised fear and disgust at the horn pile, where the body of FEFERI PEIXES rests. 

Karkat abandons the computer and grabs Sollux by the torso. He begins pulling him towards the transportalizer, constantly looking from side to side as though expecting to be suddenly attacked.  
Sequence of Karkat and Sollux making their way through dark corridors as tense chase music plays. At one point Karkat drops Sollux down a flight of stairs. The audience can hear faint cursing.

KARKAT  
[In one breath] Shit fuck holy taintwhiff nookbiting son of a bulge shit.

The camera skims over Karkat realizing he has knocked Sollux’s teeth out, Sollux waking up, and the group individually making their ways to the roof.

Open onto a scene of the roof. The camera follows Karkat from the side as he approaches Terezi. She is standing over the body of Vriska Serket, looking torn. The two embrace in a touching moment of red romance.

The moment is interrupted by tense music starting up as we see GAMZEE MAKARA approaching in the distance. Karkat and Terezi separate as Kanaya and Sollux join them, the group forming a loose semicircle. As Gamzee gets closer we see he is holding an enormous blue hammer in one hand as though the weight was nothing to him. His face has been split open by three large cuts that have dribbled blood across his face and shirt. The music swells.  
The camera pans quickly over Gamzee and Karkat as the two lock eyes. Gamzee’s expression is flat and unreadable, Karkat’s frightened but determined. Gamzee stares blankly at the group for a long moment before he takes a step forward. We see Karkat falter, frowning as though he is struggling to work something out. He reaches for his weapon but pauses just before drawing it.

There’s a long, tense moment. To Karkat’s left Kanaya steps forward, her chainsaw ready at her waist. Karkat looks at her and shakes his head, waving a hand to stop her from moving forward. Kanaya looks uncertain but lowers her weapon. Karkat is still frowning, but more thoughtfully now. To his right Terezi raises her sword. Karkat waves at her as well, looking more sure of himself now. Brief cut to Gamzee, whose eyes follow the movement silently.  
In the background Sollux appears occupied with LIL CAL, the puppet Gamzee has been carrying around. Karkat spares him only a quick glance.

GAMZEE  
Honk!

Karkat turns back to Gamzee, who has started to raise his weapon. He darts forward quickly, but instead of attacking he places his hand on Gamzee’s face and begins shushing him. A classic scene of pale romance ensues as Karkat gently pats at Gamzee’s face and makes soothing noises. We see Gamzee slowly begin to calm down. At last the two embrace. As the tension bleeds away, the camera pans out. We see that there is nothing around the cast but miles of space. Left on the rooftop, Gamzee and Karkat seem very small. We remember they are barely more than wigglers, alone in a large universe.

Fade to black.

 

**Act III**

Sound of running water. Fade in to a bathroom. Karkat is filling up the sink, a sponge in his hand. Behind him Gamzee sits on the lid of the toilet, slumped over like a rag doll. Karkat fusses with the water a little more, adjusting the temperature. Every now and then he glances up at the mirror, frowning at his reflection as though what he sees bothers him. When he’s satisfied with the water he busies himself filling up the sponge. Gamzee looks up. Compared to the clean walls of the bathroom, his face is a mess.

GAMZEE  
Ain’t heard that kinda music in a while, bro.

Karkat gives him a disapproving look.

KARKAT  
No. When was the last time you washed, Gamzee?

Gamzee doesn’t answer. He looks calm but unfocused. Karkat kneels in front of him and begins to gently wipe at his makeup, dipping the sponge into the sink every now and then. The camera zooms in. The scene is quiet, intimate. They both hesitate just long enough to remind us that neither of them has actually done this before, only seen what they are supposed to be doing in movies and schoolfeeds.

Close up as Karkat begins to clean around the edges of Gamzee’s cuts. It must not be very comfortable, but Gamzee begins to purr. Karkat has a complicated expression: a kind of hesitant tenderness. After a moment he too begins to purr. There is no sound in the room aside from the two of them and the dripping of the sponge.

Karkat reaches up to rub slowly at Gamzee’s horn as he resumes carefully sponging at the edges of Gamzee’s cuts, cleaning the remains of his facepaint away from his wounds. When the last of it has been removed Karkat stands and wrings out the sponge. The frame centers on Gamzee, who looks a little out of it still. He reaches up to touch his face, and Karkat swats at his hand.

KARKAT  
Hey, be careful, we’re not finished. I don’t want a fucking moirail who lets his face get septic and fall off.

Gamzee gives up on his face. Karkat resumes fussing with the sponge. We see Gamzee size up the bloodied water in the basin before he leans forward and dips a finger into it. Karkat winces. Gamzee reaches over and draws a smiley face with a clown nose onto the wall.

KARKAT  
[Tense] Don’t do that, either.

Gamzee pulls Karkat into an embrace. Karkat still looks tense for a moment, but he returns the hug as Gamzee begins to stroke soothingly at his hair. The camera pulls away, leaving the two in the privacy of the moment.  
Soft instrumental and fade out.

 

**Act IV**

The instrumental continues as we see a montage of time passing in Karkat’s respiteblock. At first we see Gamzee walking around or talking, but as the montage continues he shows up less and less and spends more time staying silent. We see Karkat’s shoulders get progressively tenser and he begins to hunch his shoulders in. Finally Gamzee does not appear at all. We return to normal time with Karkat crossing a day off his calendar.

The camera follows Karkat as he walks over to a shelf in the corner of his respiteblock. We can see his walls are covered in movie posters, many for movies about redrom breakups, but also a few pale romantic dramas. Indeed, even his shelf is covered in DVD cases. He pulls one off the shelf, scans the back, and stares at it thoughtfully before replacing it. None of the movies seem to be what he is looking for. He goes through several, becoming more disinterested and careless with the cases. Instead of examining each individually, he picks up a handful and sorts through them more and more quickly.

Eventually Karkat gives up and abandons the movie shelf entirely. He walks out of the frame, and we can hear his door closing as he leaves the room.

Cut to the main lab room as Karkat materializes on a transportalizer plate and walks past ROSE LALONDE and Kanaya in the study. Karkat’s expression is frustrated and upset. He doesn’t say anything as he passes. Rose and Kanaya glance at one another significantly.

Karkat enters a door in the back of the lab. We see that the horn pile has been moved here, and from the indentation at the top it appears to be well-used. Karkat tidies up the edges of the pile carefully, returning stray horns to the edges before he clambers up to the top of the pile, setting off some of the horns. He appears to no longer even notice the noise. When he reaches the summit he throws himself down, tucked into a tiny ball. The camera pulls out, and we can see just how dwarfed he is by the size of the pile and the emptiness of the room. 

Silence. Karkat lies without moving. Slowly his shoulders begin to shake, but he makes no sound, and his face is dry. He stares into the distance as though watching something far away.  
Kanaya steps through the doorway, and abruptly Karkat goes still.

KANAYA  
Are you alright? Rose and I thought you seemed a bit upset.  
KARKAT  
I’m fine. [He shrugs] I was going to just spend the day watching romcoms in my respiteblock, but I guess…

There’s a long pause. Kanaya still looks concerned. Karkat sighs a little, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. All the tension has gone out of his body and he lies like a rag doll that has been thrown into place.

KARKAT  
I guess I just don’t see the point.

Fade to black. 


End file.
